Attempt at UIUC essay

The mind has always excited me. Since I was young, I’ve grappled with concepts such as consciousness, perception, and memory through deep reflection about the way my mind works. But as I grew older, I ran into a problem: thought alone can’t be used to discover truths about the mind. To learn about the mind, we must to create experiments and make measurements.
That is why I want to approach the questions of the mind from a different angle: science. Through science, the intricate puzzle of our mind has begun to be pieced together: we have even created machines that can see into our dreams. However, progress is still slow. But what if we could bypass the senses and communicate directly with the brain? Information would be closer than our fingertips: it would be one thought away. The implications of a brain-machine interface reach past even revolutionizing our interactions with machines. We could finally understand human consciousness and perception.
I'll admit, my dreams sound like they originate from the pages of a science fiction book. But that is what makes them amazing. We live in the future: the phone in your pocket contains more computing power than the spaceship that we sent to the moon. The sky is the limit to what our minds can make possible, and even the sky's height is what we define it to be. I hope my dream will become reality, and I want to be the one who makes it happen.
I wouldn't have believed I could do it if I hadn’t competed in a national competition called ExploraVision. Three of my peers and I researched current technology and synthesized future technology to create a bionic eye that, within twenty years, could completely restore sight to those with Macular Degeneration, yet be compact enough for them to lead active lives and have the same opportunities as other sighted individuals. When we found out that we won the first place nationally for our project, I realized that I didn't have to wait for the future to come: I could create it.

But before I can create, I must learn. Bioengineering a mind-machine interface requires more knowledge than I have. What better place to learn than a collage with an amazing bioengineering program? I intend to devote my life to this endeavor, and I know that bioengineering at UIUC is the best place to start.

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 19, 2017 at 12:09 PM

    I think this is a very good college essay! I like how you describe how your interest in the mind evolved as you grew older. It is very clear that you are passionate about the subject and the essay came across as very thoughtful and honest.

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  2. ElizabethOctober 23, 2017 at 12:49 PM

    I'm also really interested in the mind and how the brain works, which is why I'm going into neuroscience. I think you're really good at conveying your passion for bioengineering here. Good luck with your application!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MajerusNovember 13, 2017 at 12:33 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. MajerusNovember 13, 2017 at 12:34 PM

    I think this is an excellent personal essay for an application. I like the way you move fluidly from your interest in the mind and the brain to your ExploraVision experiences, and then to how those relate to your future goals and your thoughts about what you hope to study.

    ReplyDelete

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